


I’ll Follow You

by luminfics



Series: Round 2017 [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, luminfics round 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11103618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminfics/pseuds/luminfics
Summary: When everything in their lives change, Luhan and Minseok remain each other’s constant.





	I’ll Follow You

**Author's Note:**

> Username: anonymous until reveals
> 
> Prompt Number: 47
> 
> Title: I’ll Follow You
> 
> Rating: NC-15
> 
> Word Count: 9,844
> 
> Warnings: Excessive use of the words realize, stare, and probably whisper too. Also, sucky summary and even suckier ending
> 
> Summary: When everything in their lives change, Luhan and Minseok remain each other’s constant.
> 
> Author's Notes: Dear prompter, I apologize in advance if this isn’t what you wanted. You submitted an amzing prompt and I hope I did it at least a bit of justice. Thanks to BDALL for talking me through this and listening to me whine. Thank you ISY for doing the same and going over it very last minute. Thanks to the mods for the extension. I greatly appreciate it :)
> 
> Title and summary from the song “I’ll Follow You” by Shinedown

Minseok, Luhan, and Yixing have known each other since they were kids. For Yixing and Luhan, it was natural. Yixing had been living in the states since he was four. Luhan had moved into the neighborhood when he was seven. Their families bonded over being the only two Chinese families in the neighborhood and since he had been there longer, it made sense for Yixing to take Luhan under his wing.

 

Minseok didn’t come along until middle school. He lived in a different neighborhood- not one as ritzy as the one Yixing and Luhan lived in- but a fancy one nonetheless. His family wasn’t as rich, but they were well off enough that they were able to send their son to one of the fancy private schools nearby.

 

Unlike Yixing and Luhan, whose families came from old money, Minseok’s family made their fortune through hard work. They started small, opening a store in the not so nice neighborhood they used to live in. But by the summer before Minseok’s last year of middle school, they’d done well enough to open a second store and move to a much bigger and much nicer place.

 

Luhan had noticed Minseok first. It was easy considering there weren’t many Asians at their school. He'd seen him in the East hall looking small and fragile as he studied a folded piece of paper in his hand. Luhan had instantly thought he was adorable, just a tad shorter than himself- the chubbiness of early childhood still evident in his cheeks. He was walking past the obviously new student when a small voice stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Um, excuse me- hi… Uh-”

 

It was a sad sight to see. Luhan knew most of the students in his school were assholes. But to outright ignore a kid who clearly didn’t know where he was supposed to be was just cruel. So, being the nice person that he was, he turned and went back.

 

“Hey!” He says so cheery it actually startles Minseok who jumps a little. “You need some help?”

 

When Minseok realizes the person is actually talking to him and not yelling at him, tension visibly bleeds from his shoulders and he puts on a grateful smile.

 

“Yes. Hi. Um, can you tell me where the main gym is? I have Coach Porter for phys ed.”

 

Luhan’s smile gets wider if that’s even possible, because as it just so happens, he himself was on his way to the same class. He informs the new student and they decode to walk together- exchanging names and small talk along the way.

 

From there, they don’t separate except to go to different classes, but Luhan always finds his way back to Minseok, having memorized his schedule with just one glance, ready and willing to help him get wherever he needs to go.

 

When they meet up with Yixing at lunch, the rest is history and the three become inseparable.

 

 

***

 

 

It isn’t until high school that Luhan realizes the way he sees Minseok is more than platonic. Minseok is adorable, smart, and beyond sweet. He’s everything that has always been Luhan’s weakness and it makes the older feel weird because he shouldn’t find his best friend cute- at least not in a romantic way.

 

It’s for that reason that he never lets slip how he feels. And as sophomore year bleeds into junior year, and school gets tougher, as do the expectations of him from his family, Luhan just sort of locks it all away. He tries to date other people, and even has a boyfriend for almost the whole of junior year. He’s also cute, funny, and smart. But he isn’t Minseok.

 

Minseok dates as well, and Luhan thinks it’s probably all for the best. But at the end of the day, Minseok is always whom he wishes he could take on dates, kiss, and cuddle.

 

But it’s just Luhan’s luck that Minseok and his boyfriend seem to be pretty happy together. He doesn’t see them breaking up anytime soon and he almost feels sorry for himself, wanting to give up someone he’s perfectly happy with and who’s happy with him, just because he can’t forget about someone else.

 

Lucky for him, Yixing is there to remind him of how unfair it is for him to feel this way.

 

“Just because you’re happy doesn’t mean you stay together. I mean can you really see yourself forgetting about this other person?”

 

Also lucky for him, Yixing doesn’t know who Luhan has these unrequited feelings for, allowing him to have this one secret.

 

“On the other hand, maybe this is what you need. It’s only been a year. Obviously it will take more time. But maybe given that, you will get over whoever this mysterious guy is.”

 

Luhan knows that he’s being unfair. He knows that he won’t completely get over MInseok anytime soon. Plus he’s always distracted, and he’s pretty sure his boyfriend will start to notice if he hasn’t already.

 

In the end, Yixing tells him that he has two options: just suck it up and do something about his unknown feelings, or give himself a real chance to be happy with someone else.

 

Luhan takes his friend’s advice to heart. But it doesn’t make him any less confused. It takes him until the beginning of senior year to break up with his boyfriend. He’s still not sure what to do about Minseok, but he at least knows that he’s not dragging anyone along for a ride that’s gonna have their head spinning by the end of it.

 

He gets the answer he needs in the form of Minseok and his boyfriend going their separate ways later that year. He’s only happy for a split second before he realizes how shitty of a person that makes him. Minseok is devastated and it’s more than obvious in the way he carries himself around school.

 

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Luhan tries. And so does Yixing. But Minseok just tells them to let it go. All he gives them is a vague, “We just weren’t working out.”

 

The two decide to let it go just as they are asked. Minseok will tell them when he’s ready. In the meantime, Luhan is making plans for when he will finally get the chance to confess and how he will do it.

 

 

***

 

 

This isn't how tonight was supposed to go.

They were just supposed to hang out. It shouldn’t have been any different than any other Saturday night. Laser tag, dinner, the movies- maybe even sneaking in to a club or a bar with the fake i.ds they scored from a kid at one of the public schools when they wanted to do something really exciting. But watching Yixing confess to Minseok? That isn’t exactly Luhan’s idea of excitement- not when he had plans, had feelings of his own.

 

It was all perfectly planned too- from the speech he would make to confess, to the way he would kiss Minseok when the older male said yes. He would wait until after graduation, after their celebration when he took Minseok home. But not before they dropped Yixing off first, because that's the way it always went (they were always the closer of the three and always the last to leave each other).

 

He would park in front of the red door, the main entrance to Minseok's home and he would ask the slightly shorter male to wait before he exited the car. His voice would shake a little, and this would cause Minseok to look at him with concern. Luhan would wave him off, tell him that everything was fine. And after staring at his best friend- the man he's kn since middle school, and has been in love with for over a year- he would confess just that.

Minseok would ask things like: when? for how long? why him? And Luhan would smile and say "because you're perfect."

Everything would be perfect.

Except it wouldn't be because Luhan would never get that chance.

Was it mentioned that this isn't how tonight was supposed to go? Because instead of confessing to the love of his life, he sits at the dinner table, a whole month before graduation, and watches as his other friend, someone he was just as close with, beat him to the punch.

"I know this might seem sudden, and kinda weird,” he hears Yixing say. “But, I guess it's as good a time as any to do this.”

 

Confusion written on Minseok’s face: Check

Before Yixing even finishes, dread settles in the pit of Luhan’s stomach because he knows that look. It's the same he gives Minseok when he thinks no one is watching, albeit, much more genuine, he thinks.

Blood rushes to his head and the sound of his heart thudding drowns out anything else that Yixing says.

And he can't help but wonder what the hell is going on. He never even knew that Yixing liked Minseok. But then again, who can he blame when he's sure no one knows that he harbors the same feelings.

Luhan has never hated life more than he does at That Moment. He doesn't hate Yixing- it's not like the other Chinese male took his chances knowing how Luhan feels. Yixing would never do that. But he does hate himself for not being more like Yixing. The younger was always open and so confident- even in middle school- while Luhan never had much confidence of his own.

"You see, I think we'd be good together,” Yixing continues. Smooth. “And I was wondering if you would wanna try and go on a date with me?”

 

Minseok asking for how long, and why him: Check

It's not that Luhan feels he isn't good enough; He is. He comes from a good family, a rich family- just like his two friends. They all attend the same private high school. And with good grades and extracurriculars, all three had been accepted into one of the top universities.

So yea, Luhan is definitely good enough. He's just not fast enough.

He watches as different emotions play across Minseok's face. He listens as the older asks, how long? and why me?, questions he should have been asking Luhan on graduation night. Yet he still can't believe what he's seeing right now.

Just as Luhan’s able to think clearly, to breathe again, maybe even say something, he witnesses the most heartbreaking thing of all: Minseok agreeing to a date with Yixing.

 

When he drops his friends off that night, he’s alone at the front while Yixing and Minseok whisper and giggle at the back.

 

Luhan finally getting the chance to confess to the love of his life: DENIED

 

 

***

 

 

On Graduation Day, Luhan goes to dinner with his family instead of following through with the plans he, Minseok, and Yixing made years ago. They were all so sure, back in ninth grade, that nothing would change between them. It was easy to make lifelong pans when no one had secret crushes and broken hearts hanging over their heads.

 

Luhan doesn’t blame either of them. It’s not like anyone knows how he feels.

 

He hangs out with them over the summer, but not too much, allowing them to spend time alone as a new couple. He would be seeing enough of them in college anyway since they’d all be attending the same one.

 

For a little while, Luhan consideres taking a semester off and then going to a different college all together. Then he decides that that’s way too dramatic.

 

But unfortunately for him, also on the list of future plans made in the ninth grade: getting an apartment together in college.

 

***

 

Freshman year goes by smoothly; At least, for Minseok it does.

 

Maybe Minseok took a bunch of fluff classes. But then again, maybe getting a degree in business wasn't going to be that hard considering he'd been learning from his father since he was a kid.

 

For Luhan, it is a bit harder. While he doesn't struggle much with classes, it isn't easy watching Minseok and Yixing’s relationship develop- not when it should have been him. His only solace is that Minseok decided to stay in the dorms rather than share a place with them. It’s bad enough that he’s around almost every weekend, and the walls are considerably thin for such a high priced apartment. Luhan could only take so much of hearing Minseok’s soft sighs and airy moans even just once a week. He imagines his sanity would be just as thin as those walls if Minseok actually lived with them.

It’s funny how, once again, seeing his friend happy with someone else hasn't changed his feelings. He still dreams about Minseok, fantasizes about what their relationship would be like had he confessed first. But then he remembers that Minseok didn't have to say yes to Yixing and that letting his mind wander is simply in vain. Even after a little over eighteen months together, Minseok still seems… happy.

 

It’s easy to wander into more self deprecating territory. He's convinced himself that Yixing is smarter than him, better looking than him, and probably more romantic than him. Minseok is happy, so Yixing must be better than him.

 

Honestly, it makes him resent Yixing, and maybe even Minseok a little bit as well. So much so that he finds himself staying away from his own apartment on the weekends. Sure it hurts when Minseok complains that they never see him anymore, but he honestly couldn't take seeing them smile, laugh, and kiss each other like he wasn't even there.

 

It’s so bad that he doesn't even travel home with them like he'd planned for fall break- claiming he had a paper to finish and assuring them he would come a day later. There was no way in hell he'd choose be stuck on a four hour drive with them.

 

 

***

 

 

Minseok is outright tired. He can’t wait to get home and away from assigned readings, asshole teachers and inconsiderate roommates. Okay, so Jongin isn’t that inconsiderate, really. He just works late. But still, Minseok sometimes wishes he could go back to freshman year when his dorm mate was too afraid of academic failure to stay out all night partying. Or even that he had taken Yixing up on his offer to room with him and Luhan. But he wanted to get the full experience of being a freshman in college. And honestly, as much as he loves them both, Minseok values his _me_ time. And he spends enough time with Yixing as it is.

 

Minseok has been looking forward to the break, but he never thought going home would be the end of his life as he knows it. Thank God Yixing only dropped him off instead of walking him to his door.

 

From the outside, everything looks just as it always had in the winter. The grass had a few scattered, fallen leaves and his mom has decorated the front door with their fall family wreath. Both cars are in the garage which signaled that both his parents were home. But there is a third car in the roundabout- one he'd never seen before. He just assumes it’s a friend visiting.

 

When he steps inside, he finds his mom and sister sitting on the couch, while his dad is nowhere to be seen. Neither jump up to greet him. Minseok has to clear his throat before either even notice he’s there. When they do look up, he notices the solemn look on both their faces.

 

“Minseok!” His sister wails as she finally lets her tears fall.

 

Minah was only twelve years old- a sweet child and never dramatic or without a smile on her face. So whenever Minseok saw her cry, he knew it was bad.

 

He opens his arms to hug her as his mom moves from the couch to join them- eyes puffy. It’s obvious she’s been crying as well.

 

Fuck this had to be really bad.

 

“What's wrong, where's Dad?” He asks.

 

Minah only sobs harder at the mention of him.

 

 

***

 

 

Minseok wishes his family had talked to him earlier. He wishes he had more time, or better yet, he wishes his dad wasn’t such a fucking crook. Not paying taxes? How’d he even think he could get away with something like that?

 

As it turns out, the success of the family business wasn't so much due to their stores doing that great as much as it was due to his father filing false tax returns. And now, they are completely and utterly screwed. And from the look on his mom face, she is just as shocked as her children.

 

The car in the driveway belongs to a lawyer and he is just one of the many official visitors to their house that week.

 

With each visit, Minah grows more and more upset. At first she doesn't understand, but it isn't long before even she realizes what kind of trouble they’re in. Minah is sure they will be kicked out of their home and have to go back to South Korea. She's only ever been there to visit family, and though she always enjoys it, not being born there and not being fluent in the language is enough to make her not want to stay permanently.

 

Minah is used to her life in the U.S. Minseok is used to it as well and the thought of having to go back makes his stomach do somersaults. He knows the chances of this are slim, that his parents would somehow figure things out. He was young when they moved, but he still remembers that they didn’t have much and he honestly doesn’t want to go back to that.

 

***

 

Minseok has never heard of filing for bankruptcy turning out well. But no sooner than the lawyer leaves, does he learn his family would have to make it work. That, and they would have to sell both stores in order to do so.

 

Minseok opposes of course. Surely they can figure something else out? How are they supposed to live? And his college fund? What college fund? That would have to go as well, he’s sure- all just so his father can maybe avoid jail time.

 

His only solace is that they’ll be allowed to keep the house. It was paid off long ago and wouldn’t have to be sold, as selling the stores and wiping out their savings, as well as his college fund will be enough to pay their debt.

 

That, and at least he would be able to return and finish out the first semester, as well as his second semester of his freshman year. The fees have been paid after all. But now, instead of enjoying his weekend at home, he spends it worrying about his family and how he is supposed to continue his education after this is all over.

 

When Yixing comes to visit later, everyone acts as if nothing is wrong. Minseok doesn't dare tell his boyfriend what is going on- too ashamed and not wanting to be a burden. And Luhan? Minseok couldn't bare the thought of his best friend looking down on him for something he had no control over. So he keeps to himself, hoping in silence that something can be done.

 

 

***

 

 

Returning back to school is now even more cumbersome. Now, it’s not just finals and asshole teachers that weigh him down. It’s not even being woken up at 4am by his roommate. It’s the thought that his family might have to struggle for everything they have or will have in the future. It’s knowing that after winter break, he will only be back here for onemore semester because it’s all they can afford. It’s being afraid that after Yixing and Luhan find out, he’ll lose them both. There’s no way he’ll be able to hide this- not after he fails to return to school.

 

He should be studying right now. But instead, he’s spending his time trying to find other opportunities and doing research on scholarships and loans. Scholarships he can maybe do. Loans? He laughs at himself and doesn’t even finish the google doc with links. There’s no way his parents will get a loan; their reputations are ruined. And he’s so young…

 

He looks into part time jobs. He knows waiters can make a lot if they work the right shifts. He also knows he can get part of his tuition or room and board covered if he works certain jobs at the university. But upon more research, he finds that those kinds of jobs usually go to juniors and seniors.

 

He’s been at this forever and doesn’t see anyway he can pay his own way through school- not this one anyway. But he doesn’t realize just how late it is until Jongin walks in.

 

Jongin isn’t from a wealthy family. He had gotten into school on a full ride academic scholarship. Looking at the boy, you wouldn’t be able to tell just how smart he actually is. Plus, Minseok has heard from more than one person that he’s fallen asleep in class on more than one occasion. Always coming in from work after 2am though, he isn’t surprised.

 

Everything else is paid for by the money he makes from working.

 

Just what does Jongin do anyway?

 

“What?” Jongin stops rummaging through his dresser drawer for something to sleep in and stares at Minseok like he’s grown two heads.

 

Crap! Did he say that out loud? Before he can say anything, Jongin asks another question.

 

“Why are you up so late anyway? You’re usually asleep by the time I get home.”

 

“I was just doing some research,” Minseok replies.

 

But then he thinks, really, what does Jongin do? Seriously, after almost a whole semester together, he’s never asked. They’ve never talked about, but it must be good right? The hours suck, but he makes enough money to support himself. So he takes his chance and repeats the question.

 

“Jongin, what exactly do you do?”

 

Jongin is already dressed and heading to his bed when he stops in his tracks. He and Minseok aren’t exactly close, but Minseok has always been nice. He’s actually kind of surprised it’s taken his roommate this long to ask.

 

He sits on his bed and faces Minseok before saying, “You’ve never asked before. Why do you wanna know now?”

 

There’s no bite to his words, but suddenly Minseok is feeling a little invasive and almost decides against continuing the conversation. But Jongin raises an eyebrow, a look on his face that says well, spit it out.

 

“Well, your family doesn’t help with your fees right? And-” He freezes. Minseok knows he’s sort of fucked up when the look on Jongin’s face clearly changing from curiosity and slight annoyance to full blown agitation.

 

“No, wait. I’m sorry. I just-” Minseok takes a deep breath and starts over. "Look, my family is um.. In a bit of a financial bind. And if I don’t figure out how to put myself through school, I won’t be returning after next semester.”

 

Minseok can see the look on Jongin’s face change again. It’s not pity or disgust, two of the things he imagines he might see on his best friend’s and boyfriend’s face once, _if_ he ever tells them. It’s more like understanding, and the resolve to help Minseok if he can. And after a few minutes of silence, Jongin says, simply, “I dance.”

 

Minseok squints and repeats, “You dance?”

 

“Yea. I’m a dancer over at Triple Pleasures,” He says with a grin.

 

Minseok just stares at him for a few seconds before all but screaming, “YOU’RE A STRIPPER?!”

 

“Fuck, say it a little louder. I don’t think the whole dorm heard you!” Jongin hisses.

 

Minseok scoots his desk chair a little closer to his dorm mate, only to whisper, “You’re a stripper?”

 

His dorm mate laughs, but answers honestly. “Yea. It’s in the next town over, but it’s not so bad honestly. The drive is usually worth it. I made it through freshman year doing this. My scholarship only covers room and board. With stripping, I fede myself, pay for books, and buy pretty much anything I want or need , all while putting some money away in savings.”

 

Minseok stares at him in something akin to awe. A stripper? Who would have thought. But then again, Jongin is pretty sexy and he has a face to die for and-

 

Minseok shakes the thought away because he has a boyfriend damn it. But even if Minseok believes Jongin has the body for it, he can’t believe his dorm mate is a stripper. He’s always thought it was such a, vile profession- meant for people who can’t really do anything else with their lives. Plus, how great can the pay be? Surely not worth a bunch of old men who can’t keep their hands off you.

 

Minseok shutters at the thought. But then he sucks it up because he really isn’t in a position to be picky.

 

“Um, when you say it’s not so bad, how do you mean? Don’t you have to get, ya know, naked?” He almost whispers the word.

 

Jongin just laughs because this kid really has shitty ideas of what it means to be a stripper.

 

“You don’t get naked. The most I get down to are briefs. But I’m comfortable with that. There’s a kid, Sehun, does a routine where he dances in water, and he never gets past the black jeans that he wears. It's a bitch to clean up, but the crowd loves it.”

 

“Oh… well then, how’s the pay?” Minseok asks. That’s the most important thing anyway.

 

“Well, on a good night, I can make anywhere from five hundred dollars to a little over a grand. Hell, once I worked a double and made thirty-three hundred bucks.”

 

“Holy shit,” Minseok breathes.

 

“But don’t get me wrong. There’s nights I made it out with less than a hundred dollars. But those nights don’t happen often.”

 

Minseok nods as he listens. But in the back of his mind, he can’t help but think, Am I really considering this? Jongin watches as the emotions play across his face, because yea, he is. And Jongin totally gets it.

 

“Look, I’m sorry about your family. I know how hard it can be. So uh if you’re really thinking about this, I can help you.”

 

“Really?” Minseok asks- eyes a mixture of excitement and fear.

 

“Yea. And don’t worry so much about dancing. You got a cute face. As long as your dancing isn’t too shitty, you should be set."

 

Minseok laughs. He doesn’t say it, but he appreciates how Jongin can turn something so scary into something he can laugh about.

 

With his roommate’s offer in mind, he goes to sleep and dreams of lecherous old men making it rain.

 

 

***

 

 

It takes him at least a week to take Jongin up on his offer. He stays up late every night so that he can actually talk to his roommate about how his night went and how much he made. Jongin is always patient and answers his questions. But he doesn’t sugarcoat anything. One night he makes hardly anything and the guys had been particularly touchy, yet cheap. But he tells Minseok everything. He doesn’t want him going in with rose tinted glasses.

 

When Minseok finally decides he is ready, Jongin supports him fully. It makes him kind of sad because he thinks, no, he knows that he wouldn’t get this kind of support from his boyfriend and best friend. But when Minseok thinks about how much worse things can get if he doesn’t do this, he thinks the secrecy is worth it.

 

 

From the outside, Triple Pleasures leaves a lot to be desired. But When Jongin walks him inside, the name totally makes sense and he’s surprised to see how clean the place actually is. But then again, maybe he shouldn’t have expected anything less from a place that was so… structured. Jongin had given him the rundown over the nights that they talked. The club is actually three stories, the level floor being what most people expect when they think of a strip club: a bar, dance music, and half naked women walking around. The bottom floor was for patrons who wanted a more intimate encounter and is a little harder to get into.. The third floor is where Minseok would be working. It wasn’t much different from the level below it, except here, the men were there because they were more into cocks than boobs.

 

The place is dimly lit, the music isn’t half bad and the men aren’t as old as Minseok pictured them in his head. There are even some who look to be about his age, which surprises him.

 

When Minseok is introduced to the manager, a guy named Dean, he feels small under his stare. The guy is sizing Minseok up, and he can tell. After more than a minute of the guy raking his eyes up and down Minseok’s body, and walking around him like he was a piece of furniture on display, he give Jongin a wide grin and tells him he did good.

 

“You’re small. They’re gonna love you,” The guy half yells to be heard over the music.

Minseok balks at this because he doesn’t know if he should be offended or relieved that he might actually be able to do this.

 

After he talks with the manager, Jongin never leaving his side of course, he decides that he’ll give it a try. At the urging of Jongin, he works out with the manager that he will start on the floor, Jongin helping him out when he isn’t on stage. The managers agrees and tells him that he can decide what he wants from there.

 

 

The first few weeks are hard. Not financially though, because as it turns out, Minseok is a pro. Jongin says he can’t believe he was fooled that Minseok’s sweet little cherub face when he bags five hundred in tips only four nights in, and just working the floor at that. But in reality, Minseok just learns fast. He’s learned which guys will go for him and which ones will tip the most. He’s learned to treat this just like a business.

 

The hard part is time management and keeping it from two of the most important people in his life. At first, Yixing couldn’t understand what Minseok was doing that kept him away or leaving early on the weekends. But he eventually quits asking. Luhan just assumes Minseok will come around when he is ready, just as he always does when he’s keeping mum about something. So after getting so many vague answers, he quits asking as well.

 

 

***

 

 

Eventually, Minseok’s life falls into a routine. He’s able to choose the nights that work out best between school and his friends. He never works both nights on weekends, making sure to leave one open for Yixing. No one questions him when he decides to stay behind during Winter break either, claiming to have registered for Winter Session classes. He’s doing well enough at the club that this could be true. His parents just assume he’s upset and doesn’t want to see them.

 

He signs up for one class so that he can stay in the dorm and works as much as they’ll allow him to at the club. By the time everyone returns for spring semester, he’s saved up enough money to pay tuition plus room and board for the fall.

As things get better at the club, they get easier outside of it. He’s convinced Luhan and Yixing that he’s taken on more credit hours. And he’s gotten so much more confident in his work that he starts giving private dances at the club. It’s much more money anyway. And he’s gained regulars whom he actually appreciates.

 

That’s not to say that work is always good. There are nights when the men want to touch, but don’t want to pay. There have been nights with customers so rowdy and disrespectful, he wonders why it is that he even does this. He’s even gone in a few times and left with less money than he actually came with because the house fee has to be paid whether he makes money or not.

 

But routine or not, he could never have prepared himself for what was to come.

 

 

***

 

 

Lately, Luhan hasn’t been hanging around much. He has a new set of friends that he spends most of his time with. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see his two best friends, but with Minseok taking on more classes and Yixing deciding to go home every other weekend, there just really isn’t time for them to do anything together.

 

But he enjoys himself nonetheless with the new people he’s met. Chanyeol is always finding crazy things for them to do and Kyungsoo always knows the best places to eat. On the agenda tonight was the very traditional mix of hot wings and strip clubs. Only one which Luhan has actually experienced. He’s thankful they’re going to two different places for this.

 

Triple Pleasures is a place Luhan has heard of, but has never been. He’s pretty shocked to see that the rumors he’s heard are true. Three floors in a strip club isn’t exactly something common.

 

Chanyeol and another guy Luhan hadn’t bothered to learn the name of head to the second floor while he and Kyungsoo head to the third. He’s really not sure what to expect, but is instantly put in a better mood when he hears his favorite song playing. They find a table in the back and Luhan starts making the best of an already good night with shots.

 

A few hours later, Luhan can’t help but realize how long it’s been since he got laid now that he’s surrounded by shirtless guys (some wearing even less) walking around. He’s only had a few drinks but even Kyungsoo is starting to look something other than menacing.

 

He’s looking around in search of someone to give him minimal contact (he can find someone to take home when they hit the club later) when he spots a familiar face. And what the actual fuck?! He must be drunker than he thought because there’s no way in hell that’s Minseok walking around in a mesh top and black jeans so tight that Luhan could bust a nut right then and there.

Luhan is about to confront the guy when he thinks better of it. What if he’s wrong? Even worse, what if he’s right and Minseok really is working in some strip club half past ten p.m? He doesn’t think he’s had that much to drink… but still.

 

And what about Yixing? Surely he doesn’t know.

 

Luhan watches the guy for a few more minutes, trying and failing to be sure of whether or not it’s mInseok. But the dim lights and nth drink Kyungsoo pushes into his hand aren’t helping. Eventually he pulls a random guy, who happens to be the manager, aside and points the guy out, asking for his name.

 

“Ah, that’s Minx.” The guy gets a sly smile on his face. “He your type? I can get you a dance.”

 

Luhan doesn’t think about for more than a second before he’s nodding yes. He tries to convince himself that it’s just because he wants to see if this is really Minseok or not. But honestly, the name pretty much gives it away.

 

“Alright then. Follow me.”

 

He takes Luhan down a hall next to the bar. It’s lined with a total of ten doors, five on each side and he’s deposited into number nine. He’s directed towards a couch, which is facing away from the door. There’s a table next to it with a clean ashtray and a few LED candles on top.

 

He doesn’t wait more than five minutes before he hears the door open. He swallows hard when he hears a voice asking if he needs anything before they start. He knows that voice anywhere. He wants to jump up and drag Minseok out of there. But the part of him that’s always wanted Minseok to touch him in a way other than how friends do, wants to see how far this can go before Minseok notices it’s him. It’s pretty dark in the room anyway.

 

He makes it as far as Minseok running both palms down his chest from behind. It’s as much as he can take before the guilt sets in. This is his best friend, who happens to be dating his other best friend. Has he been doing this long? Whyis he even doing this? Is this why he’s never around? And why the hell does he always have to be caught in the middle?

 

He stops Minseok before his hands reach his belt, grabbing him gently by the wrist and pulling him around front to face him. When Minseok finally realizes who it is, he jerks away so hard that he stumbles and hits the floor with a soft thud.

 

Luhan is up and by Minseok’s side faster than lightning. He offers a hand, but Minseok is too busy staring at the floor to notice. Luhan knows that he won’t reach for it, that he feels trapped. But he offers anyway. When Minseok doesn’t move, Luhan squats in front of him and stares at as much of his face as he can see.

 

“Minseok…” He whispers.

The slightly smaller male is shaking and still refusing to look up. Luhan sighs and tries again.

 

“Min...” He stops and cringes. It’s so close to the name Minseok is using here. “Minseok, I- why?” He sits down fully on the ground and crosses his legs. “I’m not sure why I’m expecting an answer. I’m ass drunk, but-”

 

“Please don’t tell Yixing.”

 

Luhan draws back, surprised. Minseok sounds like he’s crying. Of course he is. Luhan is just too drunk and it’s too dark for him to have realized. Expecting Minseok to explain now is stupid. But Luhan has to know. Blame it on the alcohol or the point of low self esteem that Minseok alone has driven him to, he can’t help but think, first Yixing and now every other guy that’s set foot in this place have gotten a piece of him- some probably multiple times. There are signs that say no touching, but if Minseok is willing to go into a private room…

 

Luhan shakes the thought from his head. Even if Minseok has a less than stellar reason for doing this, there’s no way he’s done more. He's not that type of person. Luhan is sure.

 

Luhan jumps when Minseok speaks again. It’d been so quiet he forgot he even asked him a question.

 

“I- I had to,” He sobs out. “He ruined us. I have to pay for all of this and I-”

 

“Whoa, wait,” Luhan intervenes, “Who ruined what now?”

 

Minseok finally looks up and Luhan is so hurt by what he sees. He never wants to see Minseok look so sad.

 

“Can you meet me at my dorm in a few hours? You’re drunk. I don’t think you’d even process anything I say.”

 

Luhan nods and tells mInseok to send a text reminding him. He plans to go home and drink lots of coffee and water. Anything to flush out the alcohol or at least make himself believe that he’s done so. He won’t pass out or go home and masturbate to the thought of Minseok in skin tight jeans and a see through shirt.

 

 

***

 

 

When he arrives, Minseok explains everything to Luhan, whom he’s pretty sure is still drunk, but Luhan listens attentively. After telling him everything, from how his father committed tax fraud, to how they had to use everything they had, including his college fund, to pay off the debt, he breaks down again. Luhan instantly offers to help, says he will do anything Minseok needs because they’re best friends and Luhan would do anything for him. But Minseok vehemently declines.

Luhan feels awful for not knowing anything about what his best friend was going through. Even if Minseok wanted to keep it a secret, he should have been more attentive. Minseok shouldn’t have had to go through this alone. And what about Yixing? What kind of boyfriend is he for not noticing the changes? A shit one, that’s what kind. It’s all too easy for Luhan to bash Yixing in his mind, even if he’s guilty of the same.

 

“You can move in with us, you know. I’m sure Yixing won’t mind.”

 

“No! I don’t want to. I just- I can do this Luhan. I’ve been dancing since last semester. And we’re half way into this one and you guys never knew a thing.”

 

Minseok laughs, but Luhan doesn’t join in. For one, he can tell that Minseok’s laugh isn’t genuine. And he himself is still feeling guilty about the fact that, yea, he didn’t know. 

 

“I’ve even saved up enough to pay for two more.” Minseok shrugs. “It’s not always great, but I’m doing fine.”

 

Luhan just stares and the man in front him and he’s reminded of one of the reasons he’s loved him for so long. Despite his habit of keeping things inside, Minseok has always been very strong and optimistic.

 

“But please, don’t tell Yixing. I know it’s a lot to ask, you’ve known him longer and all-”

 

“Stop right there. Don’t ever think that I’d put Yixing over you. I-” Luhan stops himself. This is not the time or the place for an accidental confession. “I promise I won’t say anything. But Minseok, you can’t do this, or keep this in forever. You have to figure something out.”

 

“I will.” Minseok promises. And they leave it at that.

 

 

***

 

 

Weeks go by and as promised, Luhan doesn’t say a word. It’s a little awkward when they do get to hang out together. But Luhan made a promise and he intends to keep it. He has no doubt that Minseok will do what’s right.

 

They all travel home for Spring break together and Luhan has never been so thankful for bathroom breaks. The car ride is suffocating in more ways than one. He can’t help but wonder what he would do if he was in Yixing’s shoes. Would he forgive Minseok? Would he blame him for keeping it a secret for so long? The questions are rhetorical, of course. It’s obvious that he would forgive him in a heartbeat.

 

He wonders more than once if Minseok has brought it up. Yixing seems tense on the drive home, only speaking when he’s spoken to and Minseok becomes sadder by the mile. He doesn’t question it though. This is their problem to fix.

 

 

***

 

 

The first few days at home go by without incident. They all spend time with their families and don’t see much of each other. When Minseok finally does see Yixing, it doesn’t go at all like he expected.

 

Minseok gets home from the gym around four only to go up to his room and find someone sitting on his bed. It scares the shit out of him and he’s ready to fight. He knows it isn’t his parents, both having to get jobs until they could figure out how to get things back to what they were. And Minah is staying with a friend. A few seconds is pretty much the only thing that saves Yixing from a face full of Minseok.

 

“Yixing, what are you doing here?”

 

Without looking up from his phone, Yixing nonchalantly shrugs and answers, “I came to see you. Your sister let me in before she left”

 

Minseok can already feel that something is off. Normally, Yixing would have at least gotten up to greet him. Then he sees his clothes and other items he most definitely doesn’t keep out strewn out across the bed. What the hell…

 

“You went through my stuff?” He asks confused.

Yixing doesn’t answer the question and instead, calmly says, “I’m your boyfriend.”

 

So calm that what he says next almost seems out of place.

 

“How could you embarrass me like this? It’s bad enough your family no longer has money. And now I have to deal with this? Speaking of which, what would your parents think if they found out that you’re a stripper?”

 

Minseok is stunned into silence. His body shakes from a mix of nerves and anger. Nerves, because how does Yixing know? How long has he known? And anger because, deal with this? What the fuck does he mean by that? Yixing said it himself, he’s his boyfriend so how is it that he’s upset with Minseok because his family is going through a financial crisis???

 

Then Minseok laughs because his parents don’t have a right to think anything. He has to take care of himself and possibly them as well in the future. He can’t do that if he can’t even get through college. And he damn sure doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone who doesn’t care about his well being, which his father didn’t when he decided to commit tax fraud. And Yixing is currently toeing the line with the way he’s talking to Minseok right now.

But he doesn’t want to lose Yixing, so he tries to calm down and explain.

 

“Look, Yixing, I know this isn’t something you can understand.” He still doesn’t know how Yixing found out.

 

“You’re right. I don’t understand. Minseok, Stripping is for lowlifes-”

 

Minseok blanks out for a second because did his boyfriend just call him a lowlife??

 

“-You could have come to me-”

 

“And what would you have done?” Minseok finally yells. “In the span of three minutes, you have called me an embarrassment and a lowlife. And made me wonder why you’re even with me!”

 

Yixing laughs. “You know- ever since I found out about your crook of a father, I’ve been wondering the same thing. This just put the cherry on top.”

 

“Yixing-”

 

“I’ve got a future to build, and I can’t do that with someone who is beneath me.”

 

He leaves no room for Minseok to give an answer. And with that, Yixing leaves the house. Minseok is left gasping for air. Yixing has never spoken to him this way before or made him feel anything less than perfect. But maybe that’s because before, he wasn’t anything less. Before, both their families had money and they made the perfect couple.

 

Minseok doesn’t know if he’s more upset about the break up or the fact that someone he’s known and cared for all these years has torn him down so badly in the span of just a few minutes.

 

 

***

 

 

Luhan opens the door to find a livid Minseok standing on the other side, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

 

“You told him!” He hisses.

 

Luhan looks so confused, but it only manages to piss Minseok off even more. He pushes Luhan, making his way inside and slamming the door behind him before continuing.

 

“I thought of all people, I could trust you. I was gonna tell him myself.”

 

It’s only then that Luhan realizes what he’s talking about and finally has the wherewithal to answer.

 

“I- Minseok, no. I wouldn’t do that.”

 

Luhan is thankful his parents aren’t home. They’d conveniently forgotten that is was his spring break and booked a trip to Hawaii.

 

Minseok just stares because he believes him. He knows Luhan likely didn’t say a thing. But it hurts because he wants someone to blame. When he finally breaks down, Luhan pulls him into an embrace so tight he can barely breathe. But he doesn’t complain because even breathing just hurts.

 

Before Luhan can say anything else, Minseok sobs out, “He broke up with me.”

 

Luhan hugs him even tighter if that’s possible. He's pissed the fuck off because he thought Yixing loved this man. But he can't show it. Not whne Minseok needs him to be calm. He takes Minseok to his room where they lie in his bed and cuddle- just like they did when they were younger and one of them was upset. Minseok might have chosen Yixing, but he’s always trusted Luhan more.

 

When Minseok is asleep, Luhan watches as his chest rises and falls. With each breath, he feels his heart break a little more. How could Yixing be so heartless? Minseok had given him two years of nothing but love and devotion. Yes, he’s turned to something that their families and most of society look down on. Yes, he kep it a secret and refused to come to either of them with his problems. But if Luhan can understand, then why couldn’t Yixing?

 

“I’d never hurt you this way,” He whispers as he rubs soft comforting circles on Minseok’s wrist. “I would have understood, Minseok. I’ll always understand.”

 

Getting out of bed, Luhan grabs a spare blanket from his closet and covers Minseok. Afterward, he places a soft kiss on his friend’s forehead before leaving him alone to sleep.

 

***

 

Luhan is awake and alone for a few hours before Minseok comes to find him. The newly awake male stands near the end of the couch and eyes Luhan- the look on his face unreadable. Luhan doesn’t want to seem overbearing, so he keeps his mouth shut and waits for Minseok to join him. He assumes that now that he’s awake, Minseok will want to talk.

 

What he’s not expecting is for Minseok to sit next to him and not say a word. He just continues to stare and after a while, Luhan becomes uncomfortable. Eventually he turns to his best friend and asks, “Is there something on my face? Did I do or say something wrong? Why do you keep looking at me like that???”

 

Minseok laughs because he knows Luhan is getting anxious.

 

“No. No. And... “

 

Luhan lifts his eyebrows as if to say, well what?

 

“Nothing. I’m just- I’m trying to figure out why I’ve never noticed the way you look at me before.” He whispers.

 

“What? What do you-”

 

“Why didn't you tell me?”

 

Luhan sighs. “I don't know. Because I was waiting for the right time? Because you were suddenly dating Yixing?”

 

He looks at Minseok longingly. The same way he always has.

 

“You have no idea how much that hurt me. And how, for two years, I had to act like it didn't. It was so hard Minseok.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Luhan's eyes soften. Here Minseok is, a fresh break up hanging over his head, and he's worried about how he's making Luhan feel. Yet another reason why he loves this man so much. But before he can assure Minseok that he has nothing to feel sorry for, he suddenly has a lap full of best friend.

 

Luhan’s eyes widen before he’s sputtering out something that sounds like he’s asking Minseok what the hell he’s doing. It’s muffled though, by a soft pair of lips sliding against his own.

 

“I heard you, “Minseok says between kisses. “When you covered me up.”

 

Luhan relishes in the kiss for as long as his conscience will let him before he pushes Minseok away. “Look, you’re- you’re not in your right mind. Yixing will wanna talk to you and-”

 

“I’ve got nothing to say to him,” Minseok says as he reaches for the buttons on Luhan’s shirt. That’s all it takes for Luhan to finally put some strength behind his actions. He grabs Minseok and deposits him on the couch before standing up and putting some distance between them.

 

He looks so small standing in the middle of his den, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Minseok looks even smaller, having now been rejected twice in one night. Luhan hates being the cause of the look on his best friend's face. But he'd hate himself even more if they were to do something they would regret because they rushed into it.

 

“Minseok, trust me, I want to-”

 

“Then why can't we?” Minseok almost begs.

 

Luhan has a reason. And it's a good one too. But he's about to short circuit when faced with the idea that Minseok wants him. When Minseok adds that he's not above begging, Luhan almost stops breathing.

 

He paces the floor, trying to calm himself and at the same time, put together a list of reasons of why they just can't. But all, he can come up with is, “I just don't want you to regret it.”

 

“I won't,” Minseok rushes out.

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because for once, I just wanna be touched by someone who actually cares about me. Not someone who thinks we'll have a good financial future together. Or who thinks just because he tips…”

 

Minseok stops to take a breath. He can feel the tears about to spill and he really doesn't want to cry. He just wants to know what it feels like to have someone who loves him as much as he's figured out Luhan does touch him.

 

“Please.”

 

Luhan doesn't have much resolve left anyway. But hearing Minseok say please breaks it completely. He makes his way back to the couch and stands in front of his best friend. Taking his face in both hands, he use his thumbs to wipe away Minseok’s tears.

 

“You're so beautiful. You shouldn't ever cry because you're sad.”

 

Minseok smiles and leans into the touch. Then, Luhan pulls him closer and places a soft kiss to his lips.

 

“Are you sure about this?”

 

Minseok simply nods. Luhan stands, pulling Minseok up with him and leads the smaller male to his bedroom.

 

 

Once he's on the bed, Luhan undresses Minseok slowly, allowing him to do nothing more than kiss and touch whatever part of him Minseok can reach while he does so. When he's got him down to just his underwear, Luhan stands at the foot of the bed and undresses himself while Minseok watches.

 

When he's down to his boxers as well, he climbs onto the bed and just stares at the man before him. He can't believe that after so long, he's in this position. When Minseok starts to squirm under his gaze, Luhan kisses him. And that's all they do until they're both too worked up to take it anymore.

 

“Luhan,” Minseok moans. And that's all the urging he needs to get things moving.

 

He strips them both completely and places one more kiss to Minseok’s lips, catching them just barely, before going to retrieve a condom and lube. When he returns, he takes in the sight before him one more time before climbing back onto the bed. He’s sure all his staring is getting kind of creepy, but he really can't believe the position he's in right now.

 

“You have no idea how many times I've dreamed about this,” He breathes out.

 

“Yea?” Minseok laughs. “Well tell me about it in the morning.”

 

Luhan’s heart skips a beat because he's not even sure how they'll be with each other in the morning. Minseok must notice his slight hesitance, because he kisses Luhan soft and slow.

 

When Luhan finally lines himself up, Minseok is shaking with want- Luhan’s body heat and the thought alone of Luhan pushing into him makes him want to come. And when Luhan finally does it, Minseok feels so good, he sinks his nails into the taller male's back making him hiss in a mix of pleasure and pain.

 

“Baby,” Luhan whispers. “Fuck, Minseok.”

 

Minseok works on catching his breath and pulling Luhan even closer. He wants to feel surrounded by him.

 

They go slow, Luhan taking his time because he wants to remember this, wants to remember the sounds Minseok makes and the way he feels- hot, slick, and pliant. Only when Minseok admits he's about to come does Luhan speed up, reaching between them to stroke Minseok- the sounds he makes bringing Luhan even closer to the edge.

 

“Come on baby. Come for me,” Luhan whispers.

 

It's the sexiest thing Minseok has ever heard him say and it damn well makes him come on command. When Luhan is satisfied that he's pleased Minseok, he follows suit, spilling into the condom and faintly hoping that if there's a next time, there won't be this barrier between them.

 

 

***

 

 

When Luhan wakes up the next morning, he keeps his eyes closed and replays the images from his dream over again in his head. It was by far the realest fantasy he's ever had involving Minseok.

 

He rolls over to get out of bed when he finally realizes he not alone. There beside him, in full naked glory, is Minseok. Luhan watches him sleep, smiling at how beautiful he truly is and what an amazing night they had before his phone pings and brings him back to reality. He slowly removes his arm from under Minseok’s head and sits at the foot of his bed preparing himself for the conversation he knows they have to have.

 

He's pulling a t-shirt over his head when he hears Minseok's sleepy voice from the bed.

 

“Good morning,” He says as he moves to sit up.

 

Luhan rushes to the bed, not letting him get more than halfway up before he's gently pushing him back down.

 

“Hey, are you alright? Don't move. If you need something, I can get it.”

 

The way Luhan is looking at him and the genuine concern in his voice makes Minseok blush.

 

“No, I'm okay. But thank you.”

 

Luhan nods before he moves to get off the bed. But he doesn't make it far, surprised at Minseok grabbing his hand and pulling back down.

 

“Stay with me.” He whines.

 

“But, don't you wanna go?” Luhan blurts out.

 

Minseok does sit up then. “Why would I wanna go?” He's confused and Luhan is panicking.

 

“You don't!” He says louder than he intended. “I mean, yea, stay. I just, I thought you'd wake up this morning and wanna get out after you realized the mistake you made.”

 

Minseok doesn’t answer, just lies back down dragging Luhan with him so they can cuddle. He's still naked while Luhan is fully dressed and the latter has to think about kicked puppies in order to will his clock not to react.

After a few minutes, Minseok finally speaks.

 

“I told you last night that I wouldn't regret this. And I'm sorry it took me so long to understand how you feel, but trust me, I welcome it.”

 

“What about Yixing?”

 

Minseok turns to look him in the eyes.

 

“What about him? He left me. And not only that, it's pretty obvious by the things he said to me last night that he really didn't care much at all.”

 

Luhan is mentally kicking himself. Has he always been this adept at fucking things up?

 

“Look, I know that I have things to take care of. I know that what I'm doing right now, my job, isn't something to be proud o-”

 

“Yea it is.” Luhan cuts him off. Minseok snorts.

 

“No it is. Minseok, you took and bad situation and figured out how to not let it take you down. So you strip. You're also paying your own way through college. And at a damn expensive one at that. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of.”

 

Luhan looks so serious that Minseok wants to cry.

 

“I've loved you since I was fifteen. Nothing has changed that in the past and nothing will in the future. So if you're asking me for time... I can give you that.”

 

When Luhan is done, Minseok does cry. And Luhan holds him through it just as he always has.

Things might not be perfect right now and Minseok might not be perfect to anyone else. But he is to Luhan, and that's enough to get him through anything.


End file.
